[It was published in Voices in Crisis.]
Warning: Explicit Content“Fuck…” I heard this beautiful word as soon as I climbed on the crowded Nepal Yatayat. I searched that lady who welcomed me with such beautiful word. You don’t hear ‘Fuck’ daily in the public vehicle, do you?
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| Image Source: Google |
“Fuck Off…” I again heard that same voice. Why is that girl so fond of the word ‘Fuck’? Is she brand ambassador of the word ‘Fuck’? After looking at all of the people in the bus twice, finally I found that girl. She was cursing a guy standing beside her. That guy was trying to touch the sensitive parts of her body. How does it feel when you are cursed by a girl in public because you are harassing her sexually? I can’t explain.
“Go back bro…” the conductor in the bus pushed me. What the Fuck, bro? Why do you push people so badly? Is pushing people your hobby?
“For the fuck sake have some mercy dude…” I yelled at the conductor. Everyone around me looked at my face. I don’t know why but they gave me the way so that I can move back. Haha, the power of fuck. Somehow, I managed to go near that girl. I was kind of attracted to her. Was she my ‘Crush of the Day’? Well, maybe. I have around 2,458 crushes till the date.
“Hey bro, you can sit here.” One very handsome gentleman stood up from his seat. Although, he wasn’t that much handsome still he deserves to be praised. After all, he gave me the seat in the crowded bus. Fortunately, the school-boy from the nearby seat also stood up.
“Comfort yourself too” I told to that girl. She was staring at the vacant seat as if she is going to eat that seat in a while. She was about to sit, I pushed her back and sat on the window-seat. Haha. I got the window-seat, you poor girl. She sat on the next seat.
‘WTF bro? Why didn’t you act like a gentleman with that girl? You could have made a good impression on her.’ I told to myself.
Haha, View outside the window is important bro. She is not going to fall for me in 30 minutes. Why waste the scenario outside? Why give the window seat?
“Are you comfortable?” I started the talk. The main objective was to know the reason why she welcomed me with ‘Fuck.’
“Yes, I’m.” she looked straight at me. You don’t find friendly seat-partner like me easily. “Don’t lie.” I tried to be over smart. I was confident that she was not feeling well.
“Sorry?” she stared at me. She was not looking at me. She was looking through me. I was uncomfortable. Hey girl, don’t look at me like that.
“I was watching you from a long time.” I defended myself. The confidence level in my voice was fluctuating.
“So What?” She was being arrogant. Fuck her. Can’t you be polite?
“So, I know that you aren’t comfortable.” I sounded more confident. I wasn’t in the mood of stopping the talk.
“Why do you guys have only sex in your mind?” she asked in relatively soft voice. I wasn’t prepared for such question. What to do, man?
“Need to ask Mr. Sigmund Freud. He knows about it better.” I didn’t know what to reply at that time. You don’t talk about sex with stranger usually, do you?
“I hate boys.” she sounded more aggressive. What the Fuck? How could you hate the half population of the world?
“Let me guess. Single Child. Rich Parents. Spoiled. Broken Relationship. Arrogant.” I told my judgment about her directly.
“Wrong. You are fucking wrong.” she gave a sarcastic smile. I loved that smile.
“So what are you?” I replied her with attitude. Fuck your attitude girl. Although, I loved her smile.
“Single Child. Parents Died. Raised and raped by grandfather.” she replied without blinking her
eye. What? Raised and raped by grandfather? Raped?
“What the Fuck? What did you just say?” I was shocked. I was not in the mood of believing her.
“Yes, you heard the correct thing.” She was looking outside from the window. I was looking at her.
“Why didn’t you do something about your grandfather?” I asked hurriedly. I haven’t met any rape victim in my entire life. I didn’t know how to talk with them.
“I did something” she replied. I could see tears in her beautiful brown eyes. “I killed him” she whispered.
“What? What? What?” I was frightened of her.
“Yes, what will you do if somebody rapes you for about continuous 8 years? I killed him. Have you ever read a news about a mysterious murder of an old man in Koteshwor? I am that murderer.” she sounded confident. I have read about lots of mysterious murder in Koteshwor. Which was done by her?
“Do you think that I’ll believe your story? You are just frightening me so that I don’t dare to harass you like that guy whom you were cursing did.” I wasn’t believing that girl. Nobody shares the murder-mystery in with stranger.
“I’m not afraid of you.” she sounded confident. “You won’t go to the police to file a case against me.” Was she challenging me? I can do anything to you girl.
“Why?” I hated that girl. I didn’t believe her story.
“Some whys aren’t answerable.” she blinked her eye. I stared at her with big What the Fuck in my face.
“Okay. I won’t go to the police. But, I’ll write all your incident and publish that. Some people might think killing a rapist is fine but the majority don’t think so. Trust Me.” I tried to threaten her. I will expose you girl.
“Haha, you must be kidding. Where are you going to publish?” she asked. What are you made up of girl? If I were you, I would have focused on ‘What will you write’ rather focusing on ‘Where will you publish’.
“I don’t know. Maybe in Voices in Crisis.” I wasn’t prepared for that question.
“So you think that my story is a voice in crisis? I don’t need your sympathy and pity dude. I am independent. I can live on my own.” She stood up from her seat and climbed down from the bus without saying anything. No Bye, No Take Care. Nothing at all. Selfish girl.
“Crisis?” I took out my phone, opened the dictionary. Was her story really a voice in crisis? I want to know. The meaning of Crisis was a traumatic or stressful change in a person’s life.
Epilogue:
I don’t know who she was. I don’t know her name. Was she telling the truth or not? I don’t know.
I never saw her again in Nepal Yatayat. After that girl climbed down from the bus, I opened music player on my phone and listened “२० मिनेट को सम्बन्ध हाम्रो पाएर पनि नपाए जस्तो, चिनेर पनि न चिने जस्तो…..” for the entire day.
